


I'll Dance With You, I'll Laugh With You (Til It's Christmas in the Room)

by tobedwithacupoftea



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Blood, Christmas, Drug Use, Hogwarts, M/M, Seizures, Sexual Content, blood and seizures in relation to witchcraft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-03-31 21:45:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3993967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobedwithacupoftea/pseuds/tobedwithacupoftea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a death in Niall's family, he must stay at Hogwarts over Christmas their seventh year. Zayn also stays at the castle and though the boys have a more than amazing Christmas, some ill-advised magic at New Years may ruin it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Dance With You, I'll Laugh With You (Til It's Christmas in the Room)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Christmas 2010, which we’re going to pretend is the same year all 5 boys are 7th years, and Neville Longbottom has been a professor at Hogwarts for some years. Yes I took their potions professor’s name from Chimimanda Ngozi Adichie. Title from Sufjan Stevens. 
> 
> Was so fun to take part in this exchange! Thank you to my beta - great guidance for this story. 
> 
> **Warnings: Death before the start of the story, discussions of the death of a parent. Blood in relation to witchcraft. Pain and seizure in relation to witchcraft. Seventh year Hogwarts students having sex. The Room of Requirement as Bus 1, aka references to the smoking of marijuana.**
> 
> Like everyone else, I love comments : )

**Part One: Christmas at Hogwarts**

 

Niall couldn’t pay attention during his final class of fall term. The boys had all stayed up late the previous night with whiskey that Harry, of all people, had magicked up from somewhere. On top of a hangover, Professor Longbottom kept the greenhouses especially warm to combat the December chill. Niall’s face was hot and his head was heavy with a hangover he just couldn’t shake. And, on top of that, he was attempting to read a book from beneath his notes.

“Are you reading extra during class?” Liam asked him in a whisper.

“What? No, I’m just. I just want to go home already.”

Liam gave him a face like a guilty puppy. “Sorry, mate.”

Liam knew Niall wasn’t going home for Christmas. Niall’s mum was staying with her sister in America, and though there had been an invitation, his mother was not dealing very well with the situation, and Niall would rather keep his distance a bit longer. He’d rather return to the information in the book he had hidden beneath his sparse Herbology notes, even if his head was pounding.

_Be prepared to reach across a divide that no soul is meant to cross but once. To break that restriction, which is a law of nature and the gods according to some, the soul on this side must align itself as closely as possible with that on the other._

Niall looked up before reading the bullet-pointed suggestions beneath. _Bullet points to the dead_ , he thought. He scanned the greenhouse again to make sure his participation wasn’t missed. On the other side of the table, Zayn leaned on one elbow and stared at Niall. When Niall lifted his eyebrows at Zayn, the other boy quickly smiled and looked down at his notes. His notes were much more complete than Niall’s but his quill had left a large black splotch where he’d let it rest too long. Even though Zayn had a muggle-born parent, same as Niall, he still hadn’t transitioned to using muggle stationary like most students. Zayn’s eyes lifted from his page again and he continued to stare at Niall, a knowing little smile on his face. Niall thought about smiling back but eventually returned to his book instead.

Niall didn’t have a muggle-born parent anymore. Last summer, his dad had died.

 

&&&

 

Niall returned to the common room after dinner with his book. He had begun keeping his own list tucked in the back. A piece of lined composition paper and a blue biro spinning back and forth in his fingers. The portrait hole opened and a mess of school robes and soft black hair made its way toward Niall on the sofa. 

“Y’know, Harry Potter once flew an invisible car t’school.” Zayn lobbed his weight at the space next to Niall.

“An invisible car?” Niall deadpanned.

“An invisible _flying_ car.”

“Have you been smoking with Louis again?” Niall put his hand on Zayn’s face and pushed at the skin above his eyelid to see the whites of his eyes.

“Noooo, he really did!” Zayn sat up and leaned toward his friend. “I mean yeah. We jus’ finished the last of his stash. He’s headed home for Christmas now.”

“I don’t think you should smoke so much. I don’t think you should smoke at all, but…”

Niall put his hand over both Zayn’s eyes and gave him a gentle shove backwards. Zayn fell into the plush cushions of the couch, smiling up at the ceiling. “So glad you’re staying,” Zayn muttered, rolling over so his head rested on Niall’s shoulder. Niall put his face in Zayn’s hair, which smelled like his _Bellerose_ styling gel.

“I didn’t mean that,” Zayn said suddenly. He wrapped his arms around Niall and squeezed, “I didn’t mean I’m glad, that…”

“I’m glad you’re here, Zayn.” Niall looped his arms around Zayn’s shoulders and held the boy tight to him. Zayn was still shedding his childhood pudginess, but he was beginning to look older and older, becoming suddenly taller than Niall this past September, and his face was becoming sharper and more angular.

Zayn’s family was visiting his older sister in Korea over the Christmas break and had decided Zayn was neither mature nor patient enough for visiting with diplomats and dignitaries at the English Wizarding Consulate in Seoul where Doniya was surely showing off her new snazzy job.

Niall had always thought Zayn was very mature and amazingly patient.

Niall let himself gently kiss the top of Zayn’s head. Maybe Zayn wouldn’t notice. Maybe he would.

“What’s this you’re reading?” Zayn asked of the book Niall had shoved between the cushions.

“Nothing, something for Watson.”

“Caroline has you reading over break?”

“It’s a bit weird that you call a professor by her first name.”

“You’re weird,” Zayn replied, but he reached across Niall and tugged the book from the cushion’s grasp,

“Caroline’s like family.” He looked down at the book as Niall let go of Zayn and looked away. “The Veil: The Beyond and Bringing the Beyond Back,” he read. Niall wished he could put the long pause down to his friend being stoned. “Niall, you can’t-” He flipped the book open to where Niall’s notes were tucked. He read the page, maybe he read it twice. “Ni, is this to…?”

“I’m going to bed,” Niall announced, he pulled the book from Zayn’s slack hands and snapped it shut as he climbed around the furniture and stormed off towards their dormitory. Zayn caught up to him at the stairs and caught his arm.

“I understand, Niall.” Niall closed his eyes. “I mean I don’t understand, but I get why you’d want this book. Why you’d want to try this. It’s not a good idea, but I know why you’d think to do this.” Niall opened his eyes and rested his skull back against the stone wall.

“I just want to try. I want to talk to him. I miss him,” Niall confessed.

“Okay.” Zayn told him in a low voice. Niall didn’t notice how easily Zayn gave in to him. All he noticed was the way his hand pulled Niall in and how Niall gave in to Zayn’s hug. His hand slid from Niall’s neck down to his waist and held him safe. Niall wanted Zayn to tug him even closer, close the space between their hips, let his head rest down on  With his lips just above Niall’s ear, he whispered, “Go sleep, Ni, leave the book and I’ll look through it.”

Niall nodded his head but didn’t move until Zayn stepped away from him.

“Thanks,” he said, looking at the floor and then climbed the stairs to the dormitory. Zayn returned to the common room and _The Veil_.

 

&&&

 

Both boys slept until noon the next day, Christmas Eve, and only left the dormitory then because Zayn complained that Niall’s stomach was grumbling so loud Zayn couldn’t fall back asleep. After the beast that is Niall’s stomach was appeased, they walked out across the grounds.

“It always snows at Hogwarts at Christmas...” Zayn thought aloud. “The entire landscape looks muddy, it doesn’t feel right.”

“You’re right,” Niall agreed. He gazed across the grounds from Hagrid’s shuttered hut, across the empty Quidditch pitch to the dark lake.

Niall pointed out a figure that was crouched down beside the lake, so the boys eased their way down from the castle, attempting to stay upright and clean in the slick and muddy grass. The figure was revealed to be Professor Longbottom with a shovel and a few glass jars, some already full of wet dirt.

“Hello, Professor,” Niall said, coming to stand alongside the lake a few metres down from their hardworking Herbology professor.

“Oh, hello Mr. Horan, Mr. Malik.” He pushed back and stood up.

“What are you collecting?” Zayn asked.

“Well, these here,” Professor Longbottom said, picking up one of the jars, “these are Three Sided Weeds, which are good for thickening potions.” The seaweed was long and green, but triangular, like a Toblerone. “And these,” he lifted another jar, “are Coro. Just one of these will fertilize a whole planter.” Niall went cross-eyed starting at the small pink blobs. “What are you boys up to?”

“Staying out of trouble, clearly,” Zayn answered with a smirk for their professor but a more flirtatious smile for Niall. “We were hoping it would snow, actually.”

“Doesn’t feel like Christmas without snow,” Niall agreed.

“You sound like an radio Christmas Special,” Professor Longbottom said.

“This year just doesn’t feel the same,” Zayn answered for him.

Niall leaned his shoulder into Zayn’s and inhaled the mixed smell of the cold lake and Zayn’s warm skin. They all fell silent. Professor Longbottom turned his eyes down in recognition of Mr. Horan’s death and then returned to his seaweed.

Niall stood upright and addressed their professor who was fastening a cap on a glass vial. “We'll see you at the feast tomorrow, Professor?” Niall asked.

“You will, you will.”

“Merry Christmas, Professor,” Zayn said as they turned away.

“Merry Christmas, boys.”

Zayn and Niall continued down to the Quidditch pitch. Neither of them played. Niall preferred many muggle sports, and Zayn didn’t like heights. But the walk was nice, despite missing the seasonal snowfall, Niall was thankful for the time to be out in the open. He matched his steps up with Zayn’s and enjoyed his friend’s calming presence.

“Longbottom grew up without either of his parents,” Zayn told Niall. Niall fell out of step for a second.

His mind was blank as to how to react. Before the previous evening when Zayn found the book, he had only received clichéd and expected platitudes from his friends. And he’d been okay with that, he thought. He didn’t know how to talk to them about his dad being gone. “I think I knew that. Raised by his gran. Did they die in the war?”

Zayn shook his head. “Umm, tortured into insanity. _Cruciatus_ curse.” Niall stopped in his tracks and clenched his fist. He could see Zayn’s careful sideways glances. He didn’t know if he should be angry at him for trying to pull an it-could-be-worse or if he really did realize it could be worse. Zayn lifted his head, about to say something more, but Niall jumped in before he could speak.

“Zayn, do you want to go play chess?” Niall said breezily, putting his arm around Zayn’s waist and squeezing.

Zayn nodded yes, and gave Niall a little smile. Niall led them up towards the castle, away from the muddy grounds and that attempted conversation.

 

&&&

 

That evening back in their dorm, Zayn set up his chess set while Niall flicked on the Wizarding Wireless and shifted the dial until Christmas music began to twinkle through the room.

“Do you think you can listen to the Yule log?” Niall asked folding his legs beneath him as he sat opposite Zayn on his bed.

“What do you mean?”

“Like you can watch the Yule log on muggle television, or maybe it’s on the internet now.”

“What do you mean on the television?” Zayn asked and moved his knight up and to the left.

“They have a looped video of a Christmas fireplace with a log burning and they put it on TV. But it has the sound of a crackling fire, so I was wondering if you could just listen to the Yule log.”

“I could set us a small fire,” Zayn offered.

Niall focused on his next move for the next minute, eventually moving his second pawn up one space.

“In here? A fire in the dorm?” They had a magically-fuelled not-really-wood stove in the middle of the room, but it didn’t have the same visual and dramatic warmth as a fireplace.

“Here,” Zayn said sliding off the bed, he bent down and took five small glass jars from a lower drawer in his bedside table. He set them up on top of the not-really-wood stove and placed his wand carefully in each. When he pulled back from the fifth jar, they all slowly brightened until there was a small golden flame contained in each. Niall gasped with delight.

“You’re amazing, Zayn. Have I ever told you that?”

Zayn turned back to Niall, a proud little smile on his face. “Yes, actually, at least once a week.”

“Good,” Niall beamed. “Now come back ‘ere so I can destroy you at chess.”

Zayn threw himself at Niall and toppled him back, tickling him and upsetting the pieces on the board. Emotionally upsetting them as well because they started to make little squeaking sounds and gesturing at each other as though one side or the other had attempted to cheat.

With a few pinched fingers from the rather ornery bishops, they righted their pieces, moved back to their own sides of the board and continued the game. Zayn schooled Niall. So they played again, but neither of them we’re very competitive because the room was warm and the candle light was warm and tomorrow was Christmas. Past midnight, Niall started to fall asleep against the palm of his hand, so Zayn poured the pieces back into their box and pushed Niall towards his own bed.

“Merry Christmas, Zaynie,” Niall whispered.

“Merry Christmas, Nialler.”

 

&&&

 

Niall rolled over and heard the packages at the end of his bed crinkle. “Christmas!” he sang as he pushed his cover back and appraised his pile of presents. His next thought was of his dad. His dad always made an enormous Christmas breakfast before he or his brother were allowed to open presents. He would pour too much syrup all over sausages and pancakes. After he’d finished eating, his father would hand him a spoon to get the rest of the syrup off the plate. Thinking about it, Niall felt a bit nauseous rather than hungry.

He pushed it from his mind, he was here with Zayn and this pile of presents, he could already see one from Harry and another from his friend Rochelle who graduated last year.

“Zayn, wake up,” Niall called, ripping the paper from Rochelle’s gift, a box of stationary and multi-colored ink. 'Happy XMAS! Actually write to me, darling. I want to hear all the latest Hogwarts gossip. And don’t you dare grow up. See you this summer. Would you take me to a muggle music festival? xoxo, R.' Rochelle was from an old wizarding family and still seemed to only communicate by owl post.

He opened a new tie from his mum, which had lions on it but was definitely more fashionable than the normal Gryffindor tie, and a few boxes of interestingly-coloured sweets from his cousin in Australia.

“Aww, look what Doniya sent me,” Zayn’s sarcastic joy deadpanned across the room. He held up a set of standard quills from his sister. “Oh, but Liam’s sent me new music. I’m so glad vinyl’s come back into vogue.”

“Yeah, wizards hate to update their technology,” Niall muttered looking down at Rochelle’s stationary, which was admittedly beautiful.

Zayn pulled from the wrapping paper a red album with an abstract painting of a ballet dancer in a square in the middle. He walked over to the record player on Louis’s side table, slipped the heavy disc from its case and placed it down. A woman’s voice started speaking from the speaker, became distorted, and then a piano came in. Zayn smiled back at Niall. They left the record to play as they opened their gifts, Zayn feeling the beat as his shoulders moved with the music.

Niall received music from Louis, but in CD form – thankfully Discmans worked within the walls of Hogwarts. Liam gave him a book about his favourite Quidditch player and Harry gave him a t-shirt with a unicorn on it. The accompanying note said, 'Muggles are OBSESSED with unicorns. You’ll look adorable in this. H. xx'

Niall had planned with the other boys so that they could give Zayn a new complete art set with muggle tools, as well as enchanted canvas, and a book on magic painting, how to make paintings move and other complex art concepts. However, Niall had also found something for him recently on one of their Hogsmeade trips.

“These are amazing, I’ll have to send an owl off to everyone before breakfast to say thank you. How’d you all manage to coordinate all that?”

“Liam,” Niall answered. “That last one is from just me, though.”

Zayn nodded in immediate understanding and picked up the last small box. He untied the ribbon and removed the lid. Inside was a bracelet made of small leather and gold links, where the leather was as solid as the gold and the gold as soft as the leather. It was long enough to wrap around Zayn’s wrist three times and closed with a tiger head clasp. Zayn just held the bracelet draped across his fingers and was silent for a while, looking at it.

Niall worried he’d gone too far, that this was weird. “What’d you think,” he asked softly. He squirmed twisting his bedding up even more and knocking two bags of Bertie Bott’s. The candy hitting the floor startled Zayn and he looked up. “I know you like jewellery, and it looked like something you’d wear, it was tigers you liked, right?” Niall knew it was tigers Zayn liked, he talked about designing a tiger tattoo weekly. His mind was racing, he felt queasy with the worry that he'd judged this all wrong.

“Niall, this is gorgeous, thank you. I didn’t… this is so lovely.” He stood up and stepped towards Niall’s bed and leaned forward to kiss Niall on the cheek, making his breath stop. Then he held the bracelet out for Niall to fasten it to his wrist.

As Niall fumbled with the bracelet, fingers brushing against warm skin, he knew they had stepped over a line.

“It looks amazing, Ni, thank you.” Niall shrugged but couldn’t keep his face from blushing. He wanted to stay in this room with Zayn, in this moment, forever.

“Breakfast?” Zayn asked. Niall nodded and pulled on the baby blue sweater from his sister-in-law.

 

&&&

 

There was no snow all Christmas day.

Caroline, who had been Professor Watson to them until fourth year, made Zayn babysit her daughter while she took a much needed nap and did some Christmas baking. The two boys brought little Brooklyn to see some Hufflepuff boys put on a play for the house elves in a first floor classroom. Zayn carried around the little girl on his hip. Her sparkly pink tights and hair ties contrasting with his Nirvana tee-shirt (gift from Harry) and tattoos. Niall cooed at her and made funny faces, but it was clear she liked Zayn better. It was okay, Niall figured, he liked Zayn better, too.

After she was down for a nap, they returned to the Great Hall to see the decorations. Hagrid leaned in the doorway and directed a hoard of gardeners in what seemed like some sort of evergreen ballet.

They returned to the Great Hall for dinner that night to see it entirely lit up in sparkling gold and white lights. Zayn sat down on Niall’s right, the professors to one side, and a group of Ravenclaws on the other. They stuffed themselves full of warm food and enjoyed the small brightly wrapped chocolate mints spread across the table. Niall pulled a cracker with Professor Longbottom; their Professor took the green paper crown and Niall gifted the sparkling bead necklace, which matched the glittery decorations, to Zayn. Despite the ache he felt, Niall was happy.

The plates were cleared of the main dinner courses and platters of elaborate desserts filled their places. Niall rolled a few things off of each and onto his plate which he placed between him and Zayn.

“Oh, try this one, it’s so good.”

“This one’s chocolate in the centre!”

Gillian, a Ravenclaw, leaned across to Zayn, “I was so pissed Louis and Liam left for the break, we had plans for a New Year’s Eve blowout of a party.”

“We’ll just have to plan it for later on,” Zayn answered.

“And make it ten times bigger,” Niall needled.

“Hey!” Gillian scoffed. “You fell asleep at the last party.” She and Zayn giggled at Niall.

“What!? That was, um, I'd been doing hard labour for Professor Adichie all day.” He’d had detention mopping the floors of six classrooms.

“Sure, Horan,” Gillian continued laughing as she turned back to her friends. One of them passed her a flask discreetly beneath a napkin.

“We should have brought a flask,” Niall muttered.

A weight appeared on Niall’s thigh, “I think we’re okay as we are,” Zayn said softly.

Niall turned his head to the right to look at his friend. Zayn’s head was down and Niall could see a blush growing between the colour of his shirt and his messy hair. He gathered his courage and placed his hand over Zayn’s and squeezed it, moving it, if anything, further up his leg, letting Zayn’s finger tips brush over the inside seam of his jeans. His breath hitched.

“I think we’ve had enough dessert,” Niall said, voice just as quiet as Zayn’s had been.

Zayn looked up at him, searching for confirmation in Niall's eyes. “Niall? Had enough dessert? I thought it wasn’t possible,” he joked to cover his nervousness.

“I think I’m ready to go back to the dormitory,” he said, almost leaning forward towards Zayn’s warm face. It was such a direct thing to say, but instead of shocking himself, it just made his blood pump faster. He wanted to put his hands all over Zayn and he could not do that in the Great Hall. They fumbled off the benches and slipped away from their classmates, eyes only for each other.

On the staircase away from the front hall, Zayn caught Niall by the elbow and moved him back towards the wall. Niall pulled Zayn in by his hip and then Zayn’s face was tilting towards his and his lips were on Niall’s. Niall felt warm from his lips to his fingers, from his ears to his ankles. He laughed into Zayn’s mouth and their mouths parted just enough for their tongues to touch.

“Zayn, I – ” Niall smiled and then leaned forward and laughed into Zayn’s neck.

“I’ve wanted to touch you for so long,” Zayn breathed. He took Niall’s hand and they ran up the stairs, gave the Fat Lady the password without looking at her and managed to make it to their staircase before pausing to kiss again.

In the dormitory, Niall leaned awkwardly against his bed. The room was chilly which only led Niall to wonder if they would take off each other’s clothes. He’d seen Zayn nearly naked before, he would be lying if it hadn’t impacted many of this thoughts over the last two years, but Zayn had never been naked for him. Niall watched Zayn light the small flame from the previous evening.

Zayn toed off his shoes and climbed onto Niall’s bed, he leaned against the head of the bed looking calm and perfect.

“Just c’mere” Zayn said, and as he reached his hand out, Niall could see it was shaking a little. Niall let out a short laugh, he could feel his face was warm. Zayn giggled and leaned forward so he could get his fingers around Niall’s hip. He pulled him onto the bed and then astride Zayn’s lap. Niall let out a satisfied laugh and leaned closer. His hands rested on Zayn’s shoulders, fingers skating over the scratchy wool of his sweater. Zayn tugged at Niall’s hips one more time and then their lips met. Zayn slid his hand around Niall’s neck and against his jaw. Niall opened his mouth and tasted Zayn’s tongue, sweet and a like the peppermint candies. Niall moved his hips closer to Zayn’s. As they kissed, Zayn’s hands began to move up and down Niall’s back and then beneath his sweater. Niall arched his back into the feeling.

“Come here, let's just...” Zayn slid the fabric up Niall’s back and then the shirt over his head. He kissed Niall’s shoulder and then down over his chest. He placed his lips carefully around Niall’s nipple causing Niall to draw in a breath, and then he pushed out his tongue and licked the nipple.

“Yes, fuck,” Niall wrapped his arms around Zayn and then drew his face back up to his own. He quickly put his hands under Zayn’s sweater. The sweater was momentarily stuck on Zayn’s head, both boys laughing, but it was soon thrown the floor, Nirvana tee shirt following seconds later.

Niall kept kissing Zayn but let one hand moved down towards the other boy’s jeans and brushed his hand over to see if he was hard like Niall was. He was. Niall felt the outline of it through his pants and then started to move his hand up and down. “Can I , Zayn?”

Zayn nodded. He undid the button and zip and Niall tugged at the tight denim. They wiggled around on the bed until they were both naked and Zayn was lying down on his back, Niall leaning on his elbow next to him. They looked each other up and down.

“You’re hard,” Niall said. Zayn laughed in agreement.

“You’re really beautiful,” Niall added. Zayn let his lashes flutter shut and Niall leaned down to kiss him. Niall could still smell Zayn’s _Bellerose_ hair gel and his own cologne, but he could also smell their naked skin. His hand moved over Zayn’s thigh and then he started pulling him off. Zayn bit at his lip and then pushed Niall over on to his back so that Zayn was lying on top of him, their dicks touching. He gave a few investigative thrusts before leaning off the bed towards his bedside table. Niall kept his hand on the rise of Zayn’s bum. From the drawer he pulled a small bottle and put some on his hand before returning his attention to their grinding hips. Niall’s hand joined his, and with the lube, they more easily rutted against each other.

“Is this okay?” Zayn asked, kissing beneath Niall’s ear.

“Yeah,” Niall panted. He slid his free hand over Zayn’s back and to his bum, pulling him in even closer. “I’ve had a crush on you for a really long time.”

Zayn consumed the confession with another kiss. “Fuck,” he kissed down Niall’s neck and really started thrusting into their hands. “ _Niall_.”

Niall let go and put both his hands on Zayn’s arse. He paused for the shortest moment to think how amazing I was he had his hands on Zayn’s arse before pulling them closer together. He craned his neck so he could kiss at Zayn’s neck but then gave up and arched his head back into the pillows. “Zayn, I’m gonna, I’m gonna – ”

Zayn moved his hand even faster, “Yes, come on.” He kissed Niall’s temple, all he could reach,  “Me too.”

Niall slid his hands up his back and hung on to Zayn’s shoulders as he came. Niall could feel everywhere their skin was touching and Zayn’s breath heavy on his face. Zayn released Niall’s dick and stroked himself a few more times before spilling all over Niall’s stomach.

“Fuck,” Niall exhaled. Ignoring their mess, Zayn laid himself on top of Niall and caught Niall’s mouth with his own. The kiss was slow and deep. He traced his hand along the other boy’s arm until their fingers were intertwined. Zayn kissed at Niall’s neck and took in everything about his friend. He touched his fingers to the beauty marks on Niall’s neck. He matched his smile to Niall’s. He kissed over his eyes that were beginning to flutter shut.

“Hold on,” Zayn leaned back to his clothes to retrieve his wand and cleaned up their skin and then pulled the covers over top of them and drew the curtains on the four poster. They lay on their sides facing each other. Niall took Zayn’s hand and kissed it.

“I’m glad I have you, Zayn.” Niall felt less like breaking apart than he had in months.

“I’m glad you have me.” Zayn snuggled in close to his friend on their shared pillow and they fell asleep.

 

&&&

 

The next few days were spent sharing sweets and trading blow jobs. Niall made Zayn go outside with him for a bit of tepid sunshine one day, but mostly they lay in Niall’s bed or sat making out on the couch.

They listened again to the album Liam sent. “Hey! That was a line about Obama!” Niall cheered. “I love Obama.”

“We know, Nialler,” Zayn teased.

The book Niall had been studying also reappeared. _The Veil_.

“The book says it's easier to reach across if the person died unexpectedly or from violent causes, like the wound is fresh or something. And the curse did, well, it was unexpected and …” Niall’s dad had been a curse breaker, which they’d always known was a dangerous profession, but the Death Eater-concocted booby trap of curses had attacked his mind and body and had killed him in minutes.

“There’re a few ingredients in here that aren’t in the student stores,” Zayn informed him after writing a list out of what they needed to collect and where they had to be.

“I know.” Niall answered.

“Are we going into Professor Adichie’s store room?”

Their shoulders were already touching when Niall shrugged his.

“I think we can,” Zayn told him, “I know what this means to you.” Niall turned his head so he could kiss just beneath Zayn’s ear. Even though it had only been a few days, that was already his favourite spot. Zayn gathered Niall up and pulled him on to his lap. Niall felt so safe with Zayn’s hand on his hips. Each kiss felt like Zayn saying, _I have you._

“A time of some importance,” Zayn named the last requirement of the ritual, “we just have to decide when.”

“How ‘bout New Year’s Eve, just as the year turns?”

 

&&&

 

Niall’s hand rested on Zayn’s hips, as Zayn peered around the corner towards the dungeons.

“Why’s Potions in the dungeons anyway?” Niall asked, “It’s spooky down here.”

“It’s cooler,” Zayn answered, “Being underground keeps the stores cooler. Don’t want baked newt eyeballs, do you?”

“That’s what Louis should name his band. ‘Baked Newt’.”

“Shhh,” Zayn took one of Niall’s hands from his hips and led him along the corridor.

Niall picked the lock the muggle way and let them into Professor Adichie’s private store of potions ingredients. Picking locks made him think of his dad. This whole mission made him think of his dad.

“You’d think she’d have extra sensors on this...” Niall said, feeling they’d gained access too easily.

“Don’t jinx us, she’ll be descending on us any minute,” Zayn warned Niall as he leaned forward to kiss the corner of his friend’s mouth.

Niall read from the list as Zayn opened the bottles and dropped exactly what they needed into small glass vials.

“That it?” Zayn asked as he closed a box from which he had just taken two feathers he happened to know cost at least a dozen galleons apiece. He didn’t need to tell Niall that, though.

 

&&&

 

Three hours to midnight on New Year’s eve, Zayn helped Niall set up his cauldron and the ingredients and then retreated to sit cross legged on his bed. Niall laid out his wand, a stack of letters from his dad, a mirror, and a knife. Zayn looked from Niall’s determined face down to the sharp edge of the knife. Niall was going to be able to speak to his dad again tonight. He wouldn’t be back for good. But Zayn hoped that this at least would comfort his friend who didn’t even get to say goodbye to his own father.

Niall retreated to Zayn’s bed when everything was set up. They laid down next to each other, sharing Zayn’s pillow. Niall took Zayn’s hand and held it against his chest but didn’t say anything.

Zayn must have fallen asleep at some point, because he woke to the cold air on his hand and Niall’s weight lifting from the bed.

Niall arranged himself in front of the cauldron, the mirror on the opposite side. Zayn sat up, rubbed at his eyes, and checked his watch. There were fifteen minutes until the new year. 

“ _Patrem_ ,” Niall read from a script they’d written out based on the book’s guidelines. Niall placed the letters beneath the cauldron and lit them on fire. Zayn winced, Niall would not be able to read those letter ever again.

He began to pour the measured ingredients into the cauldron. Zayn could see his hand shaking. He picked up the knife, held it over the cauldron and pulled it across his palm.

He squeezed his hand and turned it to let a few drops of blood fall into the cauldron. “ _Pater loqui._ ”

Zayn’s eyes jumped to the mirror opposite Niall, but it was still only reflecting the cauldron and part of Niall’s face. But then Niall’s face contorted in pain and the cauldron started violently smoking.

“Niall!” Zayn rushed off the bed and caught his friend as he slumped over. Zayn started coughing from the smoke, he quickly extinguished the fire and opened some of the windows with a flick of his wand. “Niall,” he rubbed his hand over his friend’s arm. “Can you hear me.” Niall looked up at him but seemed incapable of speaking.

Zayn looked around the room. The mirror. He reached over and faced it towards the ground. He looked back to his friend. “What happened, Niall?” He felt Niall’s cheek, it was warm and sweaty. “No, no, no...”

Niall writhed in pain, out of Zayn’s grasp.

“Fuck,” Zayn ran down the stairs, out of the common room, and down the corridor, feeling sick with panic, his heart racing. Up  a flight of stairs and towards a door. He knocked hard and then just pushed it open into the middle of a party and Professor Watson pouring champagne into her friends’ glasses. They all looked round, shocked at his sudden appearance and terror filled eyes.

“Caroline,” Zayn panted, “I need your help.”

Caroline apologized to her guests and followed him immediately, trying to keep pace with him as he ran back through the corridors and through the portrait of the fat lady, explaining what they'd done. “It was a ritual so he could talk to his dad again. His dad died this summer,” he finished as they climbed the stairs.

“I know Zayn, I know. Did he eat or drink any of it?”

“No.”

Zayn reached the door again to see Niall face down on their floor, still shaking. Caroline swept past him, wand already raised.

“ _Finis mali_ ,” she cast, though it sounded like a swear. “ _Liberet_ ,” she circled her wand. The air seemed to still and the pained expression across Niall’s face eased. She then went over to the cauldron, sniffed it quickly and then touched her wand beneath where the fire had been, “ _Avidos ignis_.”

She moved towards Niall then, touched the back of his neck and the pulse on his wrist.

“Niall,” she said softly.

Niall rolled over, opened his eyes, took in the room, and then turned his head to vomit.

“Ugh, lovely,” Caroline moved away from Niall while Zayn swooped in. He grabbed his towel and wiped Niall’s face and then covered the mess.

“Here, let’s get him to hospital wing,” Caroline said, moving to take one of Niall’s arms. Zayn lifted him up and the two of them manoeuvred Niall through the castle to the hospital. They lay Niall down and sat on the next bed to wait for Madame Pomfrey.

“I could wait to yell at the both of you, but I don’t think I will,” Caroline began. “Boys, this was so stupid. And Niall I know you are hurting, but you _cannot_ mess with stuff like this. Death is beyond all of us. And I know you all think you’re so clever,” her eyes shot towards Zayn, “but if you’re so clever why would you listen to a book like this?” She held up _The Veil_. “You can’t trust every book you come across, for a start. And rituals are serious things - most of them are very dark magic. I don’t want either of you hurt.”

She looked between them. Niall was still clammy, eyelids heavy, but he could see her disappointed face. Zayn was sick to his stomach, partly from letting Caroline down, but mostly because he couldn’t get the image of Niall’s anguished face out of his mind.

“I’m sorry, Caroline,” Niall said. “Thank you for saving me.”

Caroline nodded.

When Madame Pomfrey arrived, Caroline stood, she leaned over and gave Niall a kiss on top of his head and squeezed Zayn’s shoulder before leaving them.

Madam Pomfrey went over all of Niall’s vitals and administered a tonic. She gave Zayn a bar of chocolate. Zayn ate it, but it tasted sour in his mouth.

“May I stay here?” he asked.

Madame Pomfrey nodded and left the two of them in the dark hospital wing.

“Zayn, I’m sorry that happened, I didn’t…” Niall whispered.

“I’m … I’m sorry, too. I love you, Niall.”

Niall didn’t answer.

 

&&&

 

The next morning, they went to the main hall for breakfast like normal. As they sat down, Niall leaned his shoulder against Zayn, but then quickly made space again.

They ate in silence for a while. Niall only had a slice of toast and a cup of tea he let go cold.

“Why'd you go along with it Zayn? Why'd you let me drag you into something so stupid? I could have hurt you so badly.”

Zayn didn't reply for a moment, taken aback.

“I love that you're always here,” Niall stumbled over his words, “but maybe you need to push me sometimes. Like how I push at you.”

Zayn turned towards Niall, but couldn’t catch his eye. “I just wanted you to have what you wanted. I want you to have everything, Ni.”

“You should have told me I couldn’t have it.”

“But then,” Zayn rubbed the sleeve of his sweater across his eyes, “but then you would be angry at me.”

“Sometimes, I think it’s okay to be angry at your friends. I would have come around to see you were doing the best for me.”

“I’m sorry, Niall,” Zayn reached his hand out and took Niall’s hand. He leaned down and kissed it. 

“Maybe we’re bad for each other right now,” Niall couldn’t lift the glare from his face, he looked down at his lap. “Maybe we should just cool it.” He took his hand from Zayn’s.

 

**Part Two: Spring**

 

Their friends arrived the next day to find Zayn eating in the great hall with Gillian.

“Where’s Ni?” Liam asked as he sat down and helped himself to some potatoes.

“Oh, in the common room, I think,” Zayn said quietly.

“Hey Gillian, you didn’t throw that party without us, did you?” Louis asked.

“No, I didn’t, but I have been practising, so you and Liam had better catch up.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” Louis tucked in to his dinner.

That evening, the five of them compared notes about their Christmas breaks. Louis and his sisters had built a snowman army. Liam had had to play muggle football with his sister’s husbands. And Harry’s sister had got him a fake muggle ID and they went clubbing in muggle London.

“Not bad, Harry,” Zayn said, impressed. 

“And what did you two get up to?” Harry asked, eyebrows wiggling.

“Oh, not much,” Niall answered quickly. “We really liked Liam’s present for Zayn, we listened to the Kanye album a lot.”

“Oh, it’s so good, isn’t it?” Liam cheered, sitting up.

Liam and Zayn discussed Kanye West, the muggle musician, and Louis left to hunt down Gillian to start planning their grand party. Zayn noticed Niall slink upstairs. Harry caught his eye before Zayn was able to hide his worry. Harry gave him a small smile and pulled himself up from the cushions into which he’d sunk. Harry was getting tall, Zayn noticed. And Niall’s face was losing it’s roundness. And Louis seemed to always have stubble. Zayn didn’t want everyone to grow up.

 

&&&

 

“Hey, Niall?” the dormitory door pushed open and Harry appeared behind it. “You alright?”

“'Course,” Niall smiled and then returned to the book he was reading. His eyes passed over the words but not one of them registered in his mind. He felt Harry sit down at the end of his bed.

“You and Zayn okay?” Harry asked.

Back in fifth year, Harry had been the first person Niall told that he liked boys. That he knew he liked boys because he liked Zayn. Harry had two mums and his sister lived in London, so Niall figured he would be more chill about it than they other boys. He’d never told his brother or dad he was gay.

He’d never told his dad.

“We’re fine.”

“Are you okay, then?”

“Yeah, m’fine, Haz. What’s up with you?” Long before this summer, Niall had trained his voice to stay light and happy.

Harry slipped off his shoes and made Niall budge over, he tucked himself in next to Niall. “I don’t want you to be sad, Niall. None of us do.”

Niall had held back tears so well and so often recently that they burst out in a little gasp. Harry’s arm came over his ribs and held him tight.

“Was Zayn nice to you over Christmas? He said he’d take care of you, Niall.” This made Niall cry more. “Niall?”

Niall rolled on his side and tucked his head in Harry’s shoulder.

“Did something happen between you and Zayn?” Harry asked again. Niall shook his head into Harry’s collar.

“I don’t know if I believe you,” Harry told him, but let him continue to cry until they both fell asleep.

 

&&&

 

In the morning, Zayn made sure to get up early so he could catch Niall before classes. He saw Niall’s back disappear down the stairs as he pulled a sweater on over his shirt. Zayn grabbed his shoes and bag and raced after him.

“Why are you carrying your shoes?” Niall asked as he walked away from the portrait hole towards the main stair case.

“Was rushing, wanted to catch up to you – can we talk?”

Niall shrugged.

“What’s wrong, Niall?”

“Nothing, Zayn,” he answered, but Zayn could taste the nasty sarcasm beneath his voice.

“I know you don’t want us to be together, but why are you so angry at me? I’m sorry about what happened at New Year’s.”

“You think that was your fault?” Niall laughed. “Zayn, _I_ was the idiot. I was the one who convinced you to do that.”

“But, then…” Zayn put his hand on Niall’s arm. Niall stepped out of his reach. “Why’re you ignoring me, then?”

“Because, I said, we’re bad around each other, I’m bad for you, I’m so stupid right now. I’m so messed up.”

“We’re still friends.”

“Of course, Zayn, I just,” Niall squared his shoulders, “I don’t want to be around you right now.” Zayn watched him walk off towards the Great Hall. Zayn continued on to his first class in just his socks, shoes forgotten in his hand, stomach nauseous.

 

&&&

 

Niall and Zayn did not speak for the next few weeks. Niall spent a lot of time working outside in the snow with Hagrid while Zayn sat in on Louis and Liam’s band practices. Band practices were half them playing a few songs they’d written and a few Green Day covers, and half planning the party of the century. Because it would have copious amounts of alcohol and students from all the houses it need to be on neutral ground away from lower students. Gillian had found a room on the seventh floor that appeared to be fully equipped for a party.

“Like, it already had a sound system rigged, and a small stage, and it was practically what I’d imagine a club to look like, gritty bathrooms with graffiti from the 70’s and all,” she explained.

“I think I’ve been there,” Zayn said.

“Really?”

“Well, it wasn’t a club when I saw it,” he explained. “I was looking for a place to smoke once, remember Lou, it was so cold so we couldn’t go outside, but we still had some weed. And there was just this room with like, a vinyl collection and a record player, and some ash trays. It’s the room that, like, fits itself to your needs.”

“That’s amazing,” Liam said. He strummed a few notes on his guitar. Zayn had to admit, they were really becoming decent musicians.

The party was held the following Saturday in what Harry had christened the As You Like It Room. Niall had not only kept his distance from Zayn, but from the other boys as well. Thankfully, Harry did manage to drag him up to the party and line him up two shots as Louis, Liam, and Gillian set up on the little stage.

It was just ten o’clock and the room was already packed with wizards and witches clad in their favourite muggle clothes. Some of the girls had taken out the nicer dresses they always packed and never had an opportunity to wear. Harry had worn a leopard print shirt he’d bought with Gemma in London and his favourite new boots which Gemma had charmed so the soles lit up as he stepped.

Zayn wore a pair of acid-wash jeans he’d stolen from his sister and an old Weird Sisters tee shirt he’d cut the sleeves off of, which he was quickly thankful for, because the As You Like It Room did not provide any sort of cooling system.

“Hey, thanks for coming, we’re Gold Heart.” Louis’ sing song voice came through the speakers.

“I thought you were Rogue Bludgers!” one of Gillian’s friends shouted from the back of the room.

“We’re done with cheesy magic puns,” Louis explained.

“Was never really a pun,” Harry said in Zayn’s ear.

Gillian counted them in and the three of them started with one of their original songs. They played an old Weird Sister’s song for Zayn and then a cover of a Brand New song, some more original songs, and then even a McFly cover.

“Eclectic,” Zayn laughed to Harry as they dance in the middle of the crowd, Harry’s arms and legs becoming a danger to everyone around them. When the band left the stage Liam queued up music from a magical jukebox that was thankfully loaded full of Usher, Fatboy Slim, and Spice Girls. Louis and Liam tackled Harry and Zayn on the dance floor.

“Amazing show, you guys,” Zayn shouted above the music. “Harry liked the McFly cover.”

Harry just gave them a dumb smile and went off in search of more alcohol.

“Where’s Ni?” Liam asked. Zayn shrugged.

Liam showed them all up with his superior dancing skills and then disappeared to find some people from the Quidditch team. A sixth year girl came up to Zayn and asked him to dance, but he begged off.

“Really?” Louis asked, “She was gorgeous.”

“I know,” Zayn shook his head and then turned to see Niall on the far side of the room. He was sitting on top of a couch with his arms around another boy. Their thighs touching. The other boy’s hand in Niall’s back pocket.

“Whoa, look at Niall get it!” Louis howled, he turned to Zayn for a reaction just in time to see Zayn’s face drop and turn to a glare.

“Who’s that Ravenclaw he’s with?” Zayn tried to hold back the growl he wanted to release.

“Umm, I think it’s Georgie Lawson,” Louis shouted back to him over a the heavy beats of the music. “Why? They’re not a thing or anything,” Louis went on, “Zayn, what’s wrong?”

“Let’s get another drink,” Zayn said and he led Louis over to the side of the floor. He poured two heavy cups of whatever was lying out on the table and turned towards the opposite side of the room from where Niall was now making out with Georgie Lawson, one leg draped over the other boy.

When Louis caught up to him, he started in on his friend. “Zayn, I thought nothing was going on between you. I mean, everyone knew Niall liked you but nothing came of it. Even though you stayed here with him over Christmas.” Zayn tired to turn away from him. “I thought Haz said that nothing happened? Niall said that nothing happened.”

This of course hurts almost worse. Niall didn’t want them to be a thing.

“Fuck,” Zayn exhaled. “It _did_ happen, Lou. And now he won’t look at me.”

Louis took Zayn by the arm and led him out into the hallway. There were two sixth year girls in the first alcove they came to but then at the next Louis sat him in a window seat, leaned into one hip and crossed his arms. “Spill.”

“We hooked up on Christmas day.”

“How festive,” Louis laughed. Zayn glared at him. He mimed zipping his lip and throwing away the key.

Zayn told Louis how they had gotten together but also how Zayn was helping him with the ritual, and then how it went badly and he had to fetch Professor Watson.

“...And now he says we’re not good for each other and he doesn’t want to be around me at all.”

Louis sat down next to Zayn and hugged him. “Zayn, think how embarrassed he must be. He doesn’t want us to know all of that. And being with you seemed to be a bit tangled up in that.”

“Embarrassed?” Zayn asked.

“He did something stupid,” Louis explained, “Trust me, I am very familiar with the feeling. And I’ve never had half as good a reason to do all the stupid magic and plots I’ve attempted. He doesn’t want us to know how foolish he was. AND Caroline having to yell at you both. Maybe you're more used it, hanging around with me. But yeah, Niall’s embarrassed. And I’m sure he's still sad as anything. He lost his dad. I mean, mine up and left, so at least I can be angry at him.”

“Do you get wise when you get drunk?”

“No, generally not. I often do even stupider things when I’m drunk. Would you like to go something stupid with me? Harmless, but stupid?”

“I think I need another drink,” Zayn admitted.

“Good, first things first,” Louis exclaimed and they returned to the party.

 

&&&

 

The next day was a giant hangover for Louis and Zayn. Liam seemed cheerful enough and brought them some breakfast from the kitchens. Niall disappeared in the morning and they did not see him the rest of the day.

Around three in the afternoon, after a shower, Zayn turned to Louis and asked, “So what do I do?”

“I think you give him space.”

“Give who space?” Harry asked as he returned, dumping a pile of sweets on the end of Niall’s empty bed.

“Niall,” Louis replied. “Zayn and him did totally happen over Christmas.”

“Oh, Zayn.” Harry sat at the end of Zayn’s bed and put his hand on his ankle. “Niall was upset, but he wouldn’t tell me anything.” Zayn told most of the story again and Harry nodded along.

“Yeah, give him space. He just has to remember how much he was in love with you.”

“He was never in love with me,” Zayn told them.

Harry blushed a bit. “I think he’s been in love with you for years, Zaynie.”

 

&&&

 

The winter chill left the air finally in April but Zayn and Niall were still distant. Niall slowly returned to their group, but never left himself alone with Zayn and continued in the subdued manner he had the whole first half of the year.

Zayn had taken extra potions with Professor Adichie this term and often found himself in the library every night until Madame Pince turned out the lights.

“Hey!” Zayn called into the sudden darkness one night, but the librarian had already left and Zayn was still sat hidden behind stacks of books. He felt around the dark table for his wand, “Lumos.” He gathered up his books, slipped his notes into his bag, and crept back to Gryffindor tower.

Before he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady though, he heard someone crying. He rushed towards the noise only to find Niall’s blond head resting on his knees against a wall.

“Ni?” Niall lifted his head and then kept crying. Zayn dropped his bag and sat against, shoulder to shoulder with his friend.

“I’m sorry Zayn. I can’t, I was, I’m just tired.”

The Hogwarts hallways were always eerie after lights out, shadow filled, bathed in moonlight and starlight and reflections up from the lake.

“Why’re you out here,” Zayn asked.

“Didn’t want people to hear me crying.”

Zayn nodded.

“Why’re you out here,” Niall asked in return.

“Just coming back from the library.”

“You study too much,” Niall tried to smile. The tears had slowed.

“You’d be proud of me, Niall, haven’t smoked with Louis all semester. Too much homework.”

Niall took a deep breath and dropped his head against Zayn’s shoulder.

“Niall,” Zayn started slowly. “Just talk about him. I think it is okay if you say what you miss. It’s good to remember him.” Zayn felt Niall tense a bit, but the comforting weight of his head remained on Zayn’s shoulder. “I know you always want to be cheery Niall, ready for a party and a pint, but it’s okay to be sad, and to let us know you’re sad.”

Zayn let them sit for a while, enjoying in the bittersweet closeness of his friend. When Niall didn't speak, Zayn tried again. “I miss you too, Niall. Don’t beat up on yourself for what happened at New Year. Just don’t do that.”

Niall nodded and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Zayn wrapped his arms around his friend. He felt better than he had in weeks and weeks. But there was still also that little thrill. Niall wasn’t just a friend, he was Niall. And Zayn wanted to kiss him.

But he didn’t. Instead he had them stand up and make their way up the stairs. Zayn watched Niall brush his teeth and throw water over his face.

“Thanks, Zayn,” he whispered, “good night.”

Zayn took a while to fall asleep, but he felt better in the morning, and he had an idea to make Niall feel better.

 

&&&

 

On the far side of the lake, away from the Forbidden Forest, there were was a good place that was within the boundaries of the Hogwarts grounds, but far enough away that it was good for a bonfire. Harry unfolded some blankets and Liam unpacked a bag full of treats from the kitchen. Niall lay on his back and watched the stars while Louis played with the fire as sparks jumped up and around the group of five boys.

“Almost the end,” Liam said in his very sincere voice.

“Don’t get sappy,” Louis warned.

“But it is,” Harry added. “We have NEWTs and then on to new adventures!”

Niall laughed, but Zayn could hear that it was bitter.

“I was actually, umm...” Zayn began. “Niall,” he addressed his friend, “I understand if you’re not in the mood but I thought if you wanted to talk about your dad. We’re here to listen.” Niall didn’t say anything at first, he didn’t move.

“You could just tell us a story about him,” Harry said.

Niall fidgeted a bit and then began.

“Well, when... when I was younger, before my brother started at Hogwarts, Dad sent us to a muggle school. And we knew we weren’t like the other kids, but he thought it was important we don’t get too distant from the muggle world. Cause he went to a muggle school not knowing he was a wizard. Once when he was taking a test, he got really worried he wouldn’t finish in time, so he unknowingly slowed down all the clocks and watches in the classroom. They didn’t realise anything was wrong until every other class had taken a break for lunch. The teacher couldn’t understand how her watch and the clock had slowed down the same.”

Niall didn’t sit up, he just kept staring up at the sky, but he told stories about his dad in muggle school, and him and his brother at muggle school. And the time his dad got their mum to dress up like Father Christmas and even charmed her a long white beard.

He made them all laugh and let them ask questions. Zayn only saw Liam tear up once or twice before wiping at his eyes quickly. They ate all the scones and cheese and crackers and other sweets from the kitchen.

“It’s late, guys,” Niall said eventually. Zayn stood up and offered Niall a hand. “Thank you for this,” Niall smiled at his friends. “This was… nice. Thanks.”

The five boys walked slowly back around the lake and up to the castle. Zayn watched Niall climb the stair, half asleep, but Zayn could tell he was more relaxed, and hopefully happier. He wanted Niall to feel safe and loved.

Zayn rolled over in his warm bed, closed his eyes against his pillow, and fell asleep feeling hopeful. Zayn knew he was still in love with Niall.

 

&&&

 

Besides the stress of NEWTs, everything was better in the weeks following the bonfire. But Zayn wasn’t going to give up on what he and Niall could have. Not because school was almost over and who knew where they were going next and not because of what happened at New Year. A week before NEWTs began, he caught up to Niall after an Herbology study session.

“Hey Niall, actually, I was umm, wonderin’ if you wanted to have dinner with me?”

“I mean, yeah, Zayn, I always have dinner with you.”

“No, I meant,” Zayn nods over his shoulder up the stairs. “I sort of put something special together.”

“Like a...”

“Yeah, like a date.”

Niall nodded and followed Zayn up the stairs. On the second floor, he reached his hand forward and wrapped his fingers around Zayn's. Zayn squeezed his hand back.

“Just in here.” Zayn pushed open the door of a classroom Niall vaguely remembered having DADA in first year. Two of the desks had been pushed together and a white cloth draped over them.

Zayn gestured for Niall to take one of the seats while he sat down opposite. From under the table he pulled out two beers.

“Muggle beer?” Niall said with a smile. He wrapped his hand around the sweating bottle.

“We're going with a theme,” Zayn replied as he waved his wand and a flat white cardboard box appeared.

“Zayn, is this pizza?” Niall asked, his voice going high. He leaned forward to inhale the warm steam escaping the edges of the box.

Zayn smiled at his friend, at the boy he was in love with. “Had my mum pick it up for us. You're always going on about how Hogwarts never serves pizza.”

Niall stood up and walked around their makeshift table. Zayn tilted his chair a bit to look up at Niall's smiling face. “Thank you.”

“It's like an I'm-sorry and I-want-to-be-a-good-friend-to-you, and -” Niall reached his hand out to rest on Zayn's shoulder and slid his fingers up onto Zayn's neck. A warm tingling ran through Zayn's whole body and back to Niall's fingertips. “And also an I-still-really-really-like-you-and-want-to-try-again pizza.”

Niall leaned down, tipped Zayn's face up towards him, and connected their lips. He lowered himself down onto Zayn's lap and held Zayn's face in both his hands as Zayn's arms wrapped around his back and hips, pulling him in tight. Zayn's mouth fell open and Niall's tongue slid in along Zayn's. Beneath Zayn's hands, Niall's hips rolled down on to Zayn's lap causing Zayn to let out a pleasurable hum against Niall's mouth.

“What if the pizza's crap?” Zayn asked rolling his own hips up to meet Niall. Niall's lips trailed kisses down the side of his neck, the muscles moving slightly as he spoke. “You'd be kissing me for nothing.”

“I think I would want you anyway.” Niall answered, pulling his face back so he could meet Zayn's gaze. Niall smiled at him and Zayn matched his smile as he pulled him tight into a hug.

Niall returned to his seat but their feet knocked against each other beneath the table as they held up the beer cans in a toast to each other.

“Holy shit, Zayn, this pizza is amazing.” Niall moaned, catching some cheese before it slid off the slice. 

“I'm glad,” Zayn smiled. “Don’t regret kissing me?”

“No,” Niall told him. “And I don’t regret kissing you during Christmas either. I’m sorry it got mixed up.”

And then Niall leaned across the table and kissed him again.

 

**Epilogue**

The sun was out, NEWTs were over, and five friends were enjoying their last hours at Hogwarts on the warm grass in front of the castle.

Harry had abandoned his shirt, pale skin and sunglasses facing up towards the sun. Liam and Zayn were sharing a stack of comics someone had abandoned in the Gryffindor common room. Niall and Louis had walked down to the lake to try and shake hands with the Giant Squid. They trudged back up the hill, unaccustomed to the suddenly warm weather. Louis flopped down on the grass, and used Harry’s thigh as a pillow.

Niall sat down next to Zayn and let his knee push against Zayn’s arm. Zayn sat up and leaned across their legs to kiss Niall on the mouth.

“I’ll just read these by myself, then,” Liam hummed to himself.

Niall blushed but didn’t create any distance between himself and Zayn.

“Are Zayn and Niall making out again?” Harry asked, not lifting his head from the grass.

“Yes,” Louis answered, leaning up on his elbows. “It’s terrible.”

“I think they’re cute,” Harry said, as though his two in-love friends weren’t feet away. “I’m glad they finally got together.”

“I’m glad you’re so wonderful,” Niall whispered to Zayn. Zayn pulled Niall’s face towards his and kissed him.

“I’ll miss you idiots,” Liam said to them all, “But this is nice.”

They retreated inside for the final banquet in the Great Hall but then returned to the grounds, laying out on the grass to watch their final sunset over the forest, the golden light reflecting in the windows of Hogwarts.


End file.
